The truth matters

The Truth Matters

Imagine a world…

…a world where men believe they can become pregnant. Formally they practice “gender neutral pregnancy” but are known colloquially as “happys” (for the pregnancy glow they long for). Happys hook-up (have sex) with other people and after deep introspection, sometimes later realize that they are with child.

Happys have been part of humanity for millennia but were outcasts from society until recently. They were said to be “in the basement” but as tolerance grew, peer pressure encouraged them to “come upstairs.” Some decided to finally “walk up” on their own, others were walked up against their wishes. One way or the other, so many have come upstairs that the very word “happy” is now associated almost exclusively with them.

It is unclear why a small percentage of men are happy. It may be a choice for some but for others it is a mystery. Regardless, they sincerely believe this to be their true nature and are called to pregnancy.

Life has not been easy or fair for happys. They have been subjected to all manner of indignities, discrimination and persecution over the years. Some have been killed for their “pregnancy disposition.” Their treatment by supposedly “good” people has been shameful. Consequently happys have organized, very effectively. They have annual Happy Marches in many cities and strong political lobbies. Politicians supportive of the happy lifestyle are rewarded well. Happys joined with others in minority personal lifestyle choice movements to form the Lesbian / Gay / Bisexual / Transgender / Happy (LGBTH) alliance.

Happys cross all demographic lines. Individually, some are mean, arrogant and combative. Others are kind, generous and accommodating. It would be wrong to stereotype them.

Initially, happys sought only tolerance and the same freedom of pregnancy afforded women. As their numbers grew, either by people coming upstairs or by realizing they were actually happy, tolerance alone was seen as insufficient. Today, happys demand full acceptance in every area of society.

Radical masculinists believe it is fundamentally unfair to men to be denied equality with women. They support changes to culture and law as necessary to remove repressive barriers, including the discriminatory restriction of pregnancy to women only.

Politicians and society in general have worked to make every accommodation. Forms that once asked for the “mother’s name” now ask for “pregnancy parent.” “Mother” has been similarly changed to more inclusive references in school textbooks. Children are taught that the happy lifestyle is normal, showing it exclusively in a positive light. It is hoped that soon, speaking against the happy lifestyle will be recognized as hate speech under Federal law. The United Nations has passed many resolutions supporting the happy lifestyle and to recognize it as a basic human right. They urge all member states to pass laws criminalizing dissent. The US government unofficially ties aid to this. Happys may now serve openly in the military.

Happys learn to “push” at Lamaze classes and are given baby showers by their friends. Some churches find support for the happy lifestyle in scripture while others assert its apparent absence is due only to outdated views of biblical time. While very controversial, some claim St. Joseph was actually the pregnancy parent of our Lord.

Faithful churches, most particularly the Church founded directly by Christ, have been targeted. They are said to by happyphobes at best (but usually much worse). Some parishioners are sympathetic to the happy lifestyle, particularly when one of their own family members comes upstairs. A high-profile starlet has left the Church with much fanfare in support of her happy brother. Liberals have relentlessly attacked conscience protections, attempting to force or destroy the Church and her charities unless the happy lifestyle is embraced, knowing that could never be.

Whew, what a far-fetched scenario! For the sake of discussion, how would the Church respond if this were real?

First, the Church would unconditionally welcome happys. It would assure them that their attraction to the happy lifestyle does not define them. They are much loved children of God and made in His image. His plan is for them to share the joy of salvation and eternal light of Christ in the Kingdom of heaven forever. They are our brothers and this is their home.

Second, the Church would recognize the special cross they bear through their attraction to the happy lifestyle. Temptation is never a sin, yielding to immorality is. Engaging in happy lifestyle acts is disordered. As male pregnancy is contrary to God’s design of the human person, it is also unnatural.

In short, the Church and its faithful members would affirm the equal human dignity of every person, including those attracted to the happy lifestyle. It simply can not affirm or accept sinful acts, the happy lifestyle being no exception.

This may be hard for many, particularly with politicians, actors, athletes and family members telling them otherwise. The Church understands, but can only teach God’s truth – not change it. We are flawed too, working always for continued conversion and holiness. The truth is here and in genuine charity, it is shared so that all may say “yes” to salvation. Our destiny is heaven and for that, the truth matters.


  1. Wow, I thought for a second you weren’t kidding and there was some widespread new fad for men having “false” pregnancies. Like a disorder that causes their bodies to appear to be pregnant. However, it is true that there always new ways of life that come into light. It is how to approach the person and show true compassion while remaining true to God’s truth that is the delicate part.

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